Awareness

This morning I visited a new church in my search for a new community, a new place to call home. It was what you might call a coffee church, and I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the people I met. Even better, the pastor spoke on something I've been thinking about a lot lately: the fact that if we truly believe what we claim to believe, we must step out into the communities around us and make an impact. If we're not making an impact on the people and places around us, we're simply not living the way we're meant to live.

Unfortunately, figuring out exactly what this means is far more difficult than I ever used to imagine, at least at first glance. If it is our purpose to give, to serve and to love those around us, how do we discern and respond to that calling? No two people are called in precisely the same way, just as no two parents will ever agree on whose child is more special. To think and to act otherwise is simply an exercise in beating your head against a wall.

Story

During the last few weeks, I've spent inordinate amount of time reevaluating myself, my passions and my purpose. These things change, you know, as time goes by. The overarching ideas and ideals tend to remain, but the specifics change with the seasons, the environment and the community I find myself in. This isn't to say that any one set of ideals are better than another, but rather a recognition of the fact that things change.

Over time, I've come to learn about my need for a battle to fight, some issue or cause or idea with which to dedicate my time and energy and zeal. Sometimes I forget about this piece of myself and slip into the trap that is complacency, repetition and boredom. I hate these times, especially when I become aware of them, because a life lived in this manner is so antithetical to both the person I am and to the person I hope to be.

Trust, And Other Things

I was dangerously close to becoming dangerously cynical only a matter of days ago. To be fair, I've always been a very skeptical person, bordering cynicism in some cases. Asking questions and challenging assumptions are things I do on a regular basis, and this can sometimes lead to serious bouts with cynicism. But at the same time, I've also been someone who more often than not gives people the benefit of the doubt and trusts others more than I probably should. I've often been afraid that this willingness to trust would come back to bite me. And it did. And I quickly began to doubt everything.